How Do I Know If I Have Trauma?

By Brynn Barry, LPC

How do you know if you are traumatized by what you have experienced? This question can be complex, as trauma is a deeply personal and subjective experience.

Trauma can arise from a wide range of events, including more recognizable ones like physical or emotional abuse, loss of a loved one, accidents, natural disasters, or witnessing violence. It can also happen in less recognized ways, like chronic invalidation, parentification, inconsistent caregiving, microaggressions, repeated social rejections, self-betrayal, and many more.

Bullying can be traumatizing and affect how we see ouselves.

What is Trauma?

In EMDR therapy, we work from the understanding that when something overwhelming or painful happens, your brain may not fully process the experience in the way it usually does. Instead, parts of that memory - like the emotions, thoughts, or body sensations - can get “stuck,” almost like they’re frozen in time.

When something in the present reminds you of that experience, those unprocessed pieces can resurface, leading to distressing symptoms like anxiety, flashbacks, or feeling emotionally overwhelmed or shutdown. EMDR helps your brain do what it naturally wants to do: heal and make sense of what happened.

Dr. Janina Fisher, a leading voice in trauma recovery, reminds us that “trauma leaves behind a living legacy of symptoms.” This means that even long after the event has passed, its impact may still be felt in your body, your emotions, and your sense of self. These responses aren’t signs of weakness; they’re your system’s way of trying to protect you.

You might notice:

Emotional and Psychological Responses

• Feeling foggy or having trouble focusing

• Numbness, disbelief, or feeling in shock

• Waves of anger, irritability, or mood shifts

• Anxiety, fear, or a sense of being on edge

• Deep sadness or hopelessness

• Pulling away from people or things you once enjoyed

Physical Responses

• Difficulty falling or staying asleep

• Feeling drained or chronically tired

• Nightmares or unsettling dreams

• A racing heart or pounding pulse

• Muscle tightness, aches, or tension

• Feeling jumpy or easily startled

Long-Term Effects

• Ongoing distress or emotional overwhelm

• Feeling disconnected from yourself or your memories

• Flashbacks or vivid recollections of the event

• Avoiding places, people, or situations that feel triggering

• Shifts in how you see yourself, others, or the world

🌿These experiences are valid. They're signals from your nervous system that you need safety and support. Healing is possible, and you don’t have to navigate it alone.

Trauma: Unprocessed Distressing Experiences

When a painful experience hasn’t been fully processed, you might notice feeling emotionally numb or disconnected from it. At other times, the same memory may stir up intense emotions that feel overwhelming or hard to manage. These responses are common signs that the experience hasn’t yet been integrated, and that your nervous system is still trying to make sense of what happened.

Because these memories can feel so distressing, it’s natural to avoid thinking about them. But avoidance often keeps the pain stuck, making it harder to heal. That’s where working with a trauma-informed therapist can make a profound difference.

✨ EMDR therapy offers a structured and supportive way to reprocess traumatic memories. With the guidance of a licensed therapist, you can move through the healing process safely and effectively. EMDR helps your brain and body resolve what’s unfinished so the memory no longer feels overwhelming or emotionally distant.

Healing doesn’t mean forgetting. It means being able to remember without becoming flooded or disconnected. Over time, you’ll begin to notice shifts in how you think and feel so you can develop more compassionate beliefs about yourself.

Unprocessed trauma causes us to have unhealthy beliefs about ourselves.

Healthy Processing of Events

Not every difficult experience is traumatic, and when it isn’t, your brain tends to process it more fluidly. Imagine having a disagreement with your partner. You might feel upset or frustrated in the moment, but as you reflect on it, those feelings usually soften. You’re able to think it through, talk about it, and move forward without feeling stuck or emotionally shut down.

This kind of emotional flow is a sign that your brain has successfully processed the experience. Both your emotional and logical sides have worked together to make sense of what happened. The feelings don’t disappear, but they become part of a coherent story - one that helps you understand what the experience meant and why it affected you.

💬 Emotions act like sticky notes for the brain - they’re signals that something matters. The stronger the emotion, the more attention your brain needs to give it. That’s why intense experiences often require more time and care to process.

Healthy processing doesn’t mean ignoring or pushing past your feelings. It means giving space to your emotions, thoughts, and memories so they can be understood, integrated, and eventually released. When this happens, you’re not just “getting over” something, you’re growing through it.

Here are some key aspects to healthily processing your experiences:

🌱 Notice What You Feel Begin by gently acknowledging your emotions, whatever they are. You don’t need to judge or push them away. Emotions show up for a reason, and giving them space can be the first step toward healing. You don’t have to prove your feelings are valid, they already are. What matters is understanding what they’re trying to tell you.

🎨 Let Your Feelings Move Find ways to express what’s inside in a way that feels safe and supportive. This might mean talking with someone you trust, writing in a journal, or exploring creative outlets like painting, music, or movement. Expression helps emotions flow instead of staying stuck.

🔍 Get Curious About Your Emotions Take time to reflect on what’s beneath the surface. What triggered this feeling? What does it remind you of? How is it showing up in your body or thoughts? Reflection isn’t about fixing, it’s about understanding.

🛠️ Support Yourself with Coping Tools When emotions feel intense, having go-to strategies can help you stay grounded. Mindfulness, breathwork, movement, or engaging in a hobby you enjoy can offer relief and regulation. Try different tools and notice what helps you feel more centered.

🤝 Reach Out When You Need To You don’t have to navigate this alone. Talking with a therapist can offer clarity, support, and new ways of approaching what you’re feeling. Seeking help is a sign of strength, not weakness.

🧘‍♀️ Make Space for Self-Care Self-care isn’t selfish, it’s essential. Whether it’s a walk in nature, a warm bath, or simply resting when you’re tired, these moments help your nervous system reset and recharge. Choose what feels nourishing to you.

I Am Struggling with Trauma. What Now?

If you’ve been through something distressing, you might feel stuck, overwhelmed, or disconnected from yourself and others. These reactions, like racing thoughts, flashbacks, constant alertness, numbness, or even physical tension, are your mind and body’s way of trying to keep you safe. They don’t mean you’re weak or failing; they’re signals that what happened to you deserves attention and care.

In therapy, you’ll find a confidential, nonjudgmental space where your story can be heard exactly as you lived it. Together, we’ll gently explore the experiences you’ve been carrying, using trauma-informed approaches like EMDR, Internal Family Systems, DBT, ACT or somatic techniques. These modalities allow you to process painful memories at your own pace, helping you understand how trauma has shaped your thoughts, emotions, and relationships.

Along the way, you’ll build practical tools to manage anxiety, depression, or overwhelming sensations. You might learn breathing exercises and mindfulness techniques to calm your nervous system, strategies for setting boundaries that protect your well-being, or ways to reconnect with parts of yourself that feel lost or silenced. Each skill you gain becomes a stepping stone toward reclaiming your sense of safety and self-compassion.

Healing doesn’t follow a straight line, but every step forward, no matter how small, moves you closer to feeling grounded and resilient. Over time, you’ll notice shifts in how you relate to yourself and others: greater trust, deeper intimacy, and a renewed sense of hope that your future can be different from your past.

🌱 Taking this step is an act of courage. If you’re ready to begin, schedule an appointment with one of our compassionate counselors today. You deserve to feel seen, supported, and empowered on your path to healing.

📞 Ready when you are. You can Schedule Now via our webpage (free consultations available)